The other day, I received the following letter:
Dear Nora, What gives? You go on vacation for a week and we get no new posts. Then, the following week, you only write one post? I love your work. I get up every morning, fire up my computer and eagerly await the comedic genius that is your writing and you’ve forced me to go two weeks with only one post? I’m desperate! I’m standing on the edge of a very, very, very high building and I will jump if you don’t write something soon! Yes! This is blackmail! My death will be on your hands!
Sincerely,
On The Edge
My new writing lair
Dear On The Edge:
Do not jump! I know it is very difficult to live without my writing. I frequently get letters begging me to write more. It will please you to know that the temporary decline in posts will actually lead to more blog posts!
It’s true! I have constructed my own super top-secret writing lair, complete with ill tempered sea bass from which I am writing this letter. Safe within my hideout I will be free to construct all future blog posts and the novel I’ve been working on since the spring titled Butterfly Hall. My super top-secret writing lair protects me from my enemies: television, rabid house cats, and the most evil enemy of all: work!
For your enjoyment, I’ve included a few photos of the interior of the lair, an honor only bestowed on my beloved readers. Naturally, the outside of the lair must be kept secret though I fear a house cat may have already discerned its location!
My cushy chair where I can be comfy while writing
As you can see from the photos, my henchmen have yet to install the new laminate flooring (the nasty stuff that’s there was under pink Berber carpet that I ripped out in a fit of anger that someone would actually install pink Berber carpet! Yick!) nor have they hung the curtains or framed the small prints. It seems henchmen aren’t so good at those particular tasks so once again, I may need to sacrifice a post or two in the name of home super top-secret writing lair construction.
Furthermore, I’ve got a special post for Thursday so step away from the ledge (no not THAT way!), get comfy in front of the computer and get ready to laugh!
Infiltration! Abandon lair, abandon lair!
I may have said something like you describe.
Also, where did you get that Chat Noir print? There was one hanging in a snack shop in Kandahar Air Base in Afghanistan. I always thought it was cool.
It just so happens that this print of Le Chat Noir was stolen by a henchman from a snack shop in Kandahar Air Base in Afghanistan.
Ok, but seriously, I think I got it at Hobby Lobby. It was a long, long time ago in a state far, far away (North Carolina) so I can’t swear to it but I’m pretty sure it was Hobby Lobby.
If I may offer some advice? Get rid of the henchmen and invest in a minion or two. Trust me when I say, MUCH better to have minions than henchmen. Serious ROI with minions. Now PEONS are a real treasure, but very rare. If you can find them, peons are the absolute BEST!
I like your lair. Do you get to wear tights, a mask and a cape when you’re in there?
Oh snap! Minions! I didn’t even think of them. I’m afraid the house cats may torture them though. House cats are excellent for keeping henchmen in line, by the way. I’ll take your advice and look into some minions. Oh! I’ve got a great connection online who may be able to drum up a peon. Let me know if you’re in the market. I’ll see if he can find one for you too.